What is the strategy you can actually apply in order to control your ejaculation?
First, before you start any sexual experience, whether it’s masturbating or with a partner, you want to make sure you use the bathroom. Like earlier when you learned about the fight or flight response, if your body has the pattern of becoming more stressed by arousal, you might have the urge to go to the bathroom and going beforehand removes that variable.
Start learning these new steps with masturbation first
While all of these steps can be practiced with a partner, I recommend that you start to learn them first on your own in masturbation. This way you can explore without the pressure of trying to get it right for your partner. For most men, the first place they begin to feel control and master the steps is through masturbation.
The first step that you want to learn is how to slow down and feel your breath moving in your body. Breath is the most important part of ejaculation control because it keeps you in your body, connected and aware of the sensations.
What we want to cultivate is a breath that tells your body that everything is OK. We are helping the body learn that the fight or flight stress response does not need to get activated. And, when you are connected with your breath, if it does, you will be aware of what is happening in the body.
Breath also brings you out of your head, which means you stop thinking so much and start feeling more.
Stop thinking and START feeling
Bring attention to your breath brings you completely into the moment allowing you to experience what pleasure is available there. When we give ourselves the room to follow the internal impulses of what our body wants to happen next rather than what our head thinks should happen next we end up present with pleasure – not chasing an goal.
Many spiritual traditions use breath as a foreground to go deeper into understanding. With regards to early ejaculation, one thing breath can do is allow the unconscious psychological blocks to come into your conscious understanding.
I have witnessed over and over again, that when men learn how to control their breathing, the thing that is holding them back often reveals itself, allowing them to heal and move forward.
With stillness, we can bring the unconscious into consciousness
You must practice this breath. When I work with clients, I suggest they use this type of breathing each time they masturbate or are with their partner. At the end of these steps, I will walk you through a breathwork exercise that you will be able to use in some capacity in any of your erotic experiences going forward.
Click here for Step 2 in the 5 Step Strategy for Premature Ejaculation Control