The next step is learning your curves. The two curves you’ll need to better understand for ejaculation control is the arousal curve and anxiety curve. I refer to both scales 1 through 10, 1 being low and 10 being the high.
The arousal curve is how aroused you feel and how hard your cock is, again on a scale of 1 to 10. One is not being aroused at all, your not maybe open to erotic energy but there is not blood moving into your cock. 4 is where your cock is hard enough to penetrate into something, 9 is the point of no return, and 10 is orgasm or peak.
Inside your body you want to be able to track where you are on your arousal curve so you are aware of how close you are to orgasm. Many men who struggle with ejaculation control jump from 1 or 2 to 10 without feeling any levels in between. Learning where you are on the curve and what it actually feels like inside your body at each level will help you feel more confident and comfortable in knowing how close you are to orgasm.
4 is the magic number!
For example, a 4 is the lowest level of arousal where your cock is hard enough to penetrate. Making the 4 one of the most important areas on your arousal curve to understand because this is the level you would want to start penetrating at.
This doesn’t mean as soon as you get to a 4, you need to start having sex. It just means it’s the place on the curve that you would actually want to start penetrating. You might be enjoying foreplay and feel yourself going up to a 6 prior to penetration. You would want to breath yourself back down to a 4 prior to penetration to ensure that you’re far enough away from orgasm upon entry.
To breathe yourself down your arousal curve, you want to combine your deep breaths with the unclenching of your asshole. I call this “anal breath.” To do this, you visualize and feel your breath moving all the way down your body into your asshole, releasing, letting go and allowing your arousal to come down the curve.
When you first learn how to use anal breaths to come down your arousal curve, it can take a long time for your body to learn to come down. Be patient with your body learns this new breath and way of dropping the arousal.
The next curve you want to better understand is your anxiety curve. On this curve, a 1 is very little to no anxiety in the body. A similar feeling would be when you wake up from a deep sleep or satisfying nap. A 10 is extremely anxious and hypervigilant. When we are anxious, we lose access to our resources. Meaning, you will have less control over over body because of the flight or fight response.
So what we want to try and do in the awareness of both of these curves ~ is learn how to feel the arousal without the anxiety attached.
Step 1 ~ Breath, again, and again, and again
Let’s revisit step one for a moment: the breath. You will be using your breath to feel your body so you will have more awareness around what is happening inside of yourself. Over time, you will be able to track where you are on the arousal curve, the anxiety curve and how tightly you are clenching your asshole.
When we’re working with helping the body to release anxiety and move up arousal without tension, closely tracking your anxiety curve can help you start to change how your body handles arousal.
Again, what is really important to eventually learn is how to move up the arousal curve without anxiety. As you start to move up the arousal curve, it’s impertinent that your anxiety curve stays low.
If that means that you only get to a 5 on arousal because your anxiety gets too high, then that’s where you want to stay while you can build your sense of pleasure and control before allowing yourself to become more aroused.
Early Ejaculation Diagram