SEX & INTIMACY COACH

Exploring our erotic selves is a liberating experience. It can free us from the unhelpful narratives we carry around about ourselves from past sexual experiences, society and our upbringing. Perhaps you have some past experiences that are now leading to sexual problems, performance anxiety, and self doubt, shrinking you into a smaller version of who you truly are at your core. Perhaps your body isn’t quite working the way you want it to. Or, perhaps you’re curious about igniting new erotic experiences for yourself or with a partner. Many of us come to a point in our lives where we decide the old way is not working - so we take the leap to explore in a new way. I believe taking this leap to explore your erotisism is one of the most important steps one can take.

When we do the work to unblock our erotic selves it ripples through our lives: we become more confident, transform all our relationships (romantic or platonic), feel sexier, become more powerful at work, and show up unabashedly ourselves. The sense of freeness is liberating, and sex becomes a lot more fun. I personally have gone through this transformation and can attest to the power of being fully erotically alive.

My Journey as a Sex Coach

I’ve found that finally working on the parts of myself I’ve hidden or been afraid of has allowed me to live a life where I feel free to be who I am, ask for what I want, set boundaries, and have the sex, conversations and relationships I have dreamed of. It has enabled me to take large risks in my life, from creating and running a multi-million dollar tech startup for a decade, to taking a huge leap and leaving my executive position to become first a CEO coach, then a therapist, and then a sex / relationship practitioner and executive coach.

I feel passionate about helping people address these hidden parts and find freedom. I want you to feel confident, able to ask for what you want and set boundaries. I want you to have amazing sex and incredibly fulfilling relationships.

I have been in happy relationships, unhappy relationships, felt at times attractive and at other times unattractive, have had great sex and bad sex and everything in between. I have also experienced a divorce. All of these experiences have taught me lessons which I am grateful for and have led to my current state of awareness. I know how it feels to have sex and relationship problems, and I also know how amazing life is when those problems are tackled.

Who I work with

I specialize in working with individuals and couples, monogamous and non-monogamous, who are motivated to make a change in their erotic lives. I enjoy working with all genders and sexualities.

Clients have come to me to work on many of life’s challenges, including: confidence and self esteem, anxiety, dating, creating fulfilling relationships, conflict and communication, intimacy, rekindling desire, couples, mismatched libido, boundaries, kink, BDSM, orgasm challenges, premature ejactulation, erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, sexual trauma, body-image, feeling sexy, polyamory, ADHD and neurodiversity, people pleasing, grief, creativity, masculinity, burnout, building a business, managing a team, navigating major life changes, divorce and breakups, sexuality, finding a romantic partner, career changes, and developing unique authenticity.

It is important to select a sex practitioner who’s approach aligns with you. I’d love to learn more about you to determine if my approach is a good fit.

My Approach

My sex and relationship coaching philosophy is based on 5 main approaches to change:

1. Awareness: The act of slowing down and simply making ourselves aware of the hidden stories and patterns that are causing problems in life and sex.
2. The Body: I help my clients feel into their bodies, not just understand their minds. Unveiling all of our body’s signals and subtle sensations can help couples and individuals have more powerful and aligned sex. By deepening the mind and body connection, our focus moves away from performance and into simply experiencing all the sensations of our pleasure. Somatic (a fancy word for body) approaches are effective with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation and sexual trauma. Somatic approaches also help us to recognize and move toward what we like and away from what we don’t - without judging ourselves for whatever our truth is. A deeper body connection will transform your relationship to sex and to life as a whole..
3. Mindfulness: Mindfulness helps people soften their judgmental self critic and release the pressure causing anxiety during sex, work and life. Mindfulness is a gentle state of present awareness and a lifelong practice towards non-clinging and non-judging. I believe in a somewhat buddhist approach of acceptance. Instead of trying to be happy all the time, or be the perfect partner, or wildly successful, the freedom comes when we accept that in life we are many things. Happy and sad, imperfect, sometimes successful and sometimes unsuccessful, sometimes attractive to another and sometimes unattractive. Liberating ourselves from needing to be everything to everyone allows us to ride the waves of life with more equanimity.
4. Communication: Why aren’t we taught how to communicate with others in school? Our upbringing and relationships with others would be so much better if we all learned the ways to communicate effectively, set boundaries and actually listen to each other. Couples, co-workers and families are often stuck in patterns where they are not feeling heard nor hearing each other, leading to a lack of intimacy, anger, and shame. Learning to communicate effectively transforms relationships.
5. Action: Traditional therapy overemphasizes talk. I believe that taking risks often can transform our lives, and I help my clients take action to live the life they truly dream of.

Professional Training

I am trained in multiple different approaches to assisting transformation.

Education:

• Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Bradley University in 2021
• Bachelors of Science in Business: Business Economic Consulting and Public Policy in 2012

Professional Training:

• Sex and Relationship Coaching 2022 Cohort from Keeley Rankin - 2022
• Hakomi Professional Training: A year long training in Hakomi, a somatic and mindfulness approach to therapy. Hakomi Therapy is a Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy method based on principles of Mindfulness, Nonviolence, Unity, Organicity and Mind-Body Integration. For the last 30 years, Hakomi has been leading the field in experiential, body-centered, somatic psychotherapy - 2020 and 2021.
• The Liberation Institute: 8 months of therapist training and supervision at the Liberation Institute, where I worked with therapy clients on sex, relationships, and life changes - 2021.
• Certificate in Gestalt Therapy: I am certified in Gestalt Therapy, graduating in 2020 from year long training at the Gestalt Institute of San Francisco. Gestalt therapy is a somatic psychology that helps people live more authentically and unsubscribe from societal norms that don’t fit them - 2020.

Workshops Completed:

• Narrative Therapy: Foundations and Key Concepts (Reauthoring Training - 2021)
• Gestalt Process Advanced Tracking (Gestalt Institute of San Francisco - 2020)
• Gestalt Experiments - Advanced Formations (Gestalt Institute of San Francisco - 2020)
• Gestalt Empty Chair (Gestalt Institute of San Francisco - 2020)
• Gestalt & Trauma (Gestalt Institute of San Francisco - 2020)
• Relational Gestalt (Gestalt Institute of San Francisco - 2020)
• ESSFT: Evolving Structural Strategic Family Therapy (Institute of Advancement of Psychotherapy - 2020)
• Working with Families Using Evidence-Informed Principles (Pamela Parkinson, PhD - 2019)
• Attachment Needs of Kids (Pamela Parkinson, PhD - 2019)
• Assessing Family Relationships (Pamela Parkinson, PhD - 2019)
• Therapy Training Workshop Series with Couples and Families Behind a 1 Way Mirror (Pamela Parkinson, PhD - 2019)
• Men’s Group Facilitation Training (ManKind Project - 2019)

Life Experience

At 21 years old, I was awarded a 6 month entrepreneurial fellowship with 20 entrepreneurs from 7 different countries, where I was trained at institutions including Harvard, MIT, and Stanford.

During and after this fellowship, I built a multi-million dollar company which I ran for a decade. I left to become a CEO coach, then transitioned to becoming a therapist. I now work both as an executive coach and a sex and relationship coach.

My life and coaching approach is heavily influenced by the 10 day Vipassana (10 days sitting in silent meditation) that I completed in 2020. The 10 days of sitting silent meditation helped me learn how to ride the waves of emotions and experiences with more equanimity, cling towards narratives less, and realize the impermanence of everything in life, including my emotions.

In 2021, I spent about 100 days in semi-solitude while backpacking over 1,000 miles on the Appalachian Trail. This time in the woods outside of normal society helped me to examine my life and unsubscribe from societal norms in ways that unequivocally permeate my coaching practice. I hope to help my clients free themselves from the societal norms that don’t align with their truth.

My work throughout my life has been featured in the Chicago Tribune, CNBC, Entrepreneur Magazine, Inc Magazine, the Huffington Post, and Forbes.

Hobbies

Outside of my coaching practice, I live a full life which includes converting an old school bus into a home, taking woodworking and carpentry classes, traveling to at least one new country (almost) every year, backpacking, many adventures through nature, hiking, interior design, exploring abandoned buildings, podcasts, photography, cooking, and seeing live music. My current favorite hobby is getting excited about books friends recommend, buying them, and never reading them.