SEX & INTIMACY COACH

Sex is vulnerable. We open up to others with our bodies, minds and souls. The affection and intimacy we gain from those experiences can affect how we feel about ourselves and in relationships with others. There can sometimes be a disconnect with what we want our bodies and minds to do and what actually happens when we are having sex.

I want your erotic energy to become a revitalzing part of your life. We will explore how you can hone your own erotic power through connecting with yourself and your partner(s). The primary goal is to understand what you desire, connect with your body, learn how to ask for what you want and ultimately get your needs fulfilled. Being able to engage with our bodies authentically allows us to connect to our deepest power and creative juices.

That is where my coaching comes in - learning about who we are sexually, along with healthy intimacy, can lead us to deeper self-knowledge and awareness. Self-knowledge is an invaluable aspect in connecting with ourselves and others. After working together, many of my clients feel safe in their bodies, brave, fierce, connected, sexy and in control.

Who is Aimee, the sex and relationship coach?

I moved to San Francisco in 2008 for my undergrad and felt deeply connected to the sexual freedom that came with being in this beautiful, liberating city. People were allowed to be themselves. I never felt so connected to a way of being. This charged my creative battery to connect deeper to the sexual vibrations of the city around me. I delved into psychology work in undergrad at San Francisco State University and went to every sexuality class I could sign up for. I invested my first few years at San Francisco State University in creating women’s empowerment groups for college students, where we would talk about sexuality, consent and boundaries. I explored sex clubs, opened my mind to different types of relationships and felt an urge to continue my work through sexuality.

In 2018, I graduated with my Masters in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of San Francisco. During my time at USF, I was able to take classes and receive training in working with men surrounding masculinity and sexuality. I was drawn to the voices that often stay silent.

I am trained as psychotherapist and do hold a therapy license, however I practice under the term ‘sex and relationship coach’ because I prefer the freedom a ‘coach’ title gives me. As a coach, I am able to meet you right where you are and use many more skills and tools that I might not be able to if we were doing traditional talk therapy.

I am trained in multiple modalities of therapy. The ones I use most often are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Gottman’s Couples therapy, and EMDR. I have also taken a plethora of trainings in Sexuality.

Professional Training

Education:

• Masters of Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family therapy.

• University of San Francisco, 2018

  Thesis: Sex Lives of Teenagers: Patterns, Risks, Social Support and Protective factors

• Bachelor of Art in Psychology. San Francisco State University, 2012

• Licensed Marriage and Family therapist #121983

Professional Training:

• Sex and Relationship Coaching 2022 Cohort from Keeley Rankin - 2022 - current
• California Adoption Conference for professionals (CAC, 2021)
• Level 1 - EMDR training, 2019
• Attachment Needs of Kids (Pamela Parkinson, PhD, 2019)
• Level 1 - Gottman Couples Training. Gottman Institute, 2016
• 40-hour Domestic Violence Training. CORA, 2011
• Individual And Family Life Span. USF, 2015
• Counseling Across Cultures. USF, 2015
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapies: Theory. USF, 2015
• Ethical/legal Professional issues. USF, 2016
• Individual And Family Psychopathology. USF, 2016
• Integrative Cognitive Behavior Therapies. USF, 2016
• Individual and Systems Assessments (University of San Francisco, 2016)
• Advanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (University of San Francisco, 2016)
• Family Systems Therapy (University of San Francisco, 2016)
  Alcohol and Substance Abuse (University of San Francisco, 2016)
• Group Work Clinical Settings (University of San Francisco, 2016)
• Couples Therapy (University of San Francisco, 2016)
• Men Unplugged: Male socialization, emotional restriction and implication for psychotherapy (University of San Francisco, 2016).
• Research Methods (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Child and Parent Therapy (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Community Mental Health (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Adult Life Transitions Therapy (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Addictions Counseling (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Human Sexuality (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Clinical Psychopharm (University of San Francisco, 2017)
• Child, Elder & Adult Abuse (University of San Francisco, 2017)

How sexual healing happens

Through my own experiences of being in sexual relationships, romantic relationships and personal therapeutic work, I have learned the first step to healing yourself is become aware one needs to heal. There was a huge shift in my life when I became aware that I needed change. The change was able to happen by connecting with my body and not solely relying on my mind. Awareness is a big key to healing. Once you are aware of what you may be lacking or needing more of in your life, you are truly able to be open for transformation in your life.

Once you have the awareness that you need to heal, actually healing can be a complicated process. Sometimes we open up old wounds. Wounds that are cut open from childhood emotional distress, bad relationships and insecurity within ourselves. We see that the wound is open and bleeding and we notice it needs to be bandaged up. The soft gauze is able to contain our bleeding parts for some time and then you knock your wound on the edge of a table and it reopens again. This is when we need to put a little healing ointment or a stitch to help support the healing. The stitch is the work we do in coaching. Together, we will help you heal properly, nursing your wound back to health through mindful discussions and practicing different techniques. Everyone has different wounds, therefore treatment will always look different.

It is important to heal our wounds so we can begin to live the life we deserve to have. If we don’t look at the dark, scary, mysterious parts of our lives, they don’t just go away. It often gets darker and scarier and we disconnect from our full potential, the best version of ourselves.

What will sex coaching look like with me

Synergically we will focus on you as a whole person. When I say that I am referring to you as a whole person, I want to explore all the parts that make up who YOU are. From childhood to work to your past and current relationships and beyond. All of these parts of ourselves play a role in who we are sexually and in relationship with others. I use a series of holistically, individually tailored approaches.

We will focus on mindfulness and connect to our bodies’ intuition. I will help you communicate with partners and support you in creating a lasting connection with those you wish to be closer to. We will work on barriers that prevent you from moving forward in your sex and relationship goals, like not feeling sexy in your body, work life imbalance, miscommunication with your partner, not knowing what you want and overstepping boundaries.

For me sexuality starts with awareness, realizing we need change in our lives to move forward and we are motivated to learn new ways to support our sexual wellbeing. Next is mindfulness, where I will teach you strategies to feel connected to your body and in touch with your thoughts and feelings. Through different exercises, discussions and play we will create a path for successful sexual experiences and ultimately connecting back to the best version of YOU.

I like to break down sexuality in 4 categories to explore:

1. Power and agency: What do you want in a relationship with others? How do I get the relationship that I want? What feels good and what doesn’t? How do I set boundaries for myself? How do I align with my own values to live the life I deserve to live? Do I feel safe in my own body?
2. Sensuality: How does sex feel? What tastes do I like? What sounds turn me on? What smells and visuals do I need to feel sexy and in control?
3. Intimacy: How well do I know myself? How close do I feel with my partner? Do I trust myself to make decisions? Do I want to be closer to this person? How do I like to be physically touched? Am I able to tell this person personal information about myself?
4. Fantasy: What does my creative mind need? How do I get turned on? Who do I get turned on by? What are fantasies I need to explore on my own? What fantasy do I need to explore with others?

Who I work with

I enjoy working with individuals and couples of all gender identities, races, ethnicities, religions and cultures. I have experience working with queer folx as well as heterosexual people in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.

It bring me joy watching others cultivate a brave space where they are able to fully explore their sensuality, sexual identity, sexual expression, romance, eroticism, fetishes, intimacy, fidelity, sexual dysfunction, motivation for sex, desires, boundaries and beyond.

Couples Exploration

Romantic relationships do take effort. Sometimes, they require more effort than we are able to do on our own without the help of another person. I am here to support your relationship. I will teach you how to effectively communicate, find and verbalize your desires and better understand the erotic needs of your partner. Collaboratively delving into the many intricacies of your relationship will allow you and your partner to feel freedom and space to open up to many new erotic frontiers.